Miss The Misery

Don't change your mind,

you're wasting light.

-Miss The Misery by Foo Fighters

Slow your roll. I'm not miserable at all so don't get to thinking, "my goodness, ANOTHER emo post? Grow up, girlfriend."

Precisely the opposite. I am thrilled with where my life is. Sure, I have moments of extreme anxiety (typically when I'm PMS-y, then it goes away), but otherwise? I am so happy with my life.

Have things ever felt different for you? Boyfriend and I have been talking, making plans and this time, plans feel different. Plans feel real. Universe is telling me, "yes, this is the time."

That Foo Fighters lyric has been sticking with me the last couple of days. Whenever I feel lazy, unmotivated, I think of the lyric above. I need to stop wasting my time and get a move on. I have a plan, I have ideas, now I need to act on them.

And for once, I'm so motivated to actually achieve something.

Go team!

Hey. Come to this thing.

Read all about it!

It seems that people read this blog. It also seems they get crazy enough to let me know they read it and that I need to update more often. WELL THEN. Let's see what I can remember...

February:

• I posted about this on my last post, but I am officially a Bomber Babe. It is so great skating with this group of girls. The Bombers are the geekiest of the bunch. I can't believe I wanted to be a Cleaver when I feel like I belong to the Bombers. We win pretty much every scrimmage and we don't have private practices, we're that good.
  
• My boyfriend got a job with the Country Club. So, what that means is he eats better than I do and eats it for free.
  

March:

• I removed the MUSE decal from my back window and replaced it with a Bombers decal. I'm really into roller derby.
• I REMEMBER MY BIG NEWS FROM THE LAST POST! My league is going BANKED TRACK. Allow me to explain to you what that is. Right now, we skate and compete on flat surfaces. That's cool and all, but have you seen Whip It? Or any other show about roller derby? Our track will go from this ___ to this /. Except not at that angle. That's just dangerous.
• The Being Human finale about killed me. (BBC, not US. Get it together.)
• My mom got a Wii. So, we play that every now and then.

April:

• I finally moved out of my parents basement. I am a grown up. I live with my boss, and her mom (her boss) owns the house. It's a good thing we like each other. She is teaching me so many things: Don't use a microwave (it'll give you cancer), don't cook on the wrong side of the tin foil (it'll give you cancer), be careful when using teflon (it'll give you cancer), use detergent with "HE" on the label (it will eff up your high efficiency washer, verdicts out on if it will give you cancer).
  
• Saw David Sedaris do a reading at Kingsbury Hall. I about peed my pants. He is one of my favorite authors so it was kind of incredible to see/hear him live.
• Foo Fighters went on tour (October 11, tickets please).
• I had a birthday and turned a boring 22 years old. Wake me when I can rent a car.
• I fostered my first foster dog. His name was Harlow and he ate my door because he had some separation anxiety. He got adopted at Super Adoption and gets to live on a ranch with an older couple.

May:

• Osama Bin Laden was killed, just in case you were living under a rock.
• I was up for auction at our derby prom and my aunt (who lives in North Dakota) won me. It was a great, drunken night.
• Judgment Day came and went. No rapture :(
• I volunteered for Strut Your Mutt. It was such a great time. There are no better people than dog lovers.
• The anniversary of the Lost finale. I still weep.
• I still struggle with picking a major for college. I'm thinking nutrition?

June:

• I played my first bout in Richfield. I feel like I got beat up. But it was the first bout my parents got to see me in, and my mom even said she was proud of me. Take that, future need for therapy!
• I finally got around to reading The Hunger Games and now I'm hoooooked.
• My boyfriend won a trip to Vegas in July! My first trip to Vegas ya'll!
  

I think that's about it (or at least what previous Facebook statuses provide). I've lost 30 lbs since last year. That's pretty cool. I'm still rockin' my job at The Dog's Meow. I am in charge of the newsletter so I still get some writing in. I'm currently trying to flex my creative writing muscles. It's a slow and arduous process but I'll get there. I don't know what else to write so here is a picture of my roommates dog, Marleau.

ROLLER DERBY NEWS

I have news! I am officially on a team with SCDG! I'm a BOMBER BABE.

Those of you who paid attention when my mom played, she was on the Bomber Babes. I'm the first generational derby girl with SCDG. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited.

There is also other HUGE news, but I'm saving that for a later date :) I'M SO EXCITED.

Sidelined

I am pretty sure I don't get mad often. I get frustrated, upset, and bitter, but I rarely experience anger.

Today, I'm really angry.

Someone dear to me is getting married, and her fiancee is allergic to cats. She's decided to put both of them down. One cat is really old, and has a myriad of health problems. The other cat, however, is fine. She is old, but you wouldn't know it by the way she acts. Put her on a proper diet and she'd be wonderful. My friend's vet is complying with her wishes to put both cats down.

Let's just say this: I've dated Zack for about 4 years now, and if he wanted to get married right away but I had to get rid of my cat, he knows damn well we would have to wait. I've known my cat longer than I've known him and I would not kill my cat because it made my boyfriend sneeze.

Okay, that was harsh. But I don't know if you know this, this goes against EVERYTHING in me. It is so painful to watch her make this decision when I know there are better options out there. I had ONE DAY and I found that cat an alternative.

Ugh I can't even talk about this anymore. Just one more push towards my dream of working in animal rescue, I guess.

Here's a quick update:

1. I made it onto the Fresh Meat of the Salt City Derby Girls, it's been so great. I'm covered in bruises and more athletic, I've even made a friend!

2. I finally got that iPhone I've been complaining about.

3. I loooove my job, I have responsibilities and I'm continually learning.

4. Staying in SLC for school, but unsure of where to transfer, help? Anyone?

5. Yes, Zack and I are still together.

Which brings me to a bit of seriousness. What happens when you feel like the universe stops listening to you? I've been putting the power of positive energy to use in my life and it's helped me immensely. However, it becomes hard to watch the lives of the ones you love when they are making wrong decisions or not getting fair treatment. It's hard when you feel you put everything out there and receive nothing in return. You try to be humble, you try to be grateful and kind, but rudeness and selfishness is thrown back at you.

I would love nothing more than to grow and move forward, but the universe seems to want me to stay put for a bit longer, and I guess I have to learn how to accept that, even if it seems extremely unfair.