Friday, March 7, 2008

The Wild Card of Existence

What I don't understand is why people with a Y chromosome are stereotyped as "selfish" and "un-sweet" and that they "don't do anything sweet. Ever." I won't lie, I've been in love a couple of times and I like to think that they loved/love me too (although I've always had this paranoia that I was never loved and was only being led on. But a list of my paranoias is a different blog for a different time).

Each relationship I've been in has been different, but each one had something in common. I was treated fairly decently, like a princess (well, all save for one).

"You treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again."

I am not one for surprises or even sweet gestures. In fact, I feel quite selfish in relationships. When I brought this up he said, "but you deserve it. And you show you care more than you actually know." That did make me feel better. He surprises me all the time, and he knows I'm not one for that. But secretly it makes me happy because it reassures me I am loved. That's why some of my relationships failed miserably, because I wasn't reminded every day. But he tells me every single day and it feels like the first time every time.

I've seen other people's relationships and they're all the same. Each boy treats each girl like a princess, and it reaffirms my faith in humanity. People are good. I see it everyday in other relationships. Everyone does the same sweet gestures, everyone feels the same feelings, but what's amazing is each moment is yours and yours alone, and that makes it feel ten times more lovely.

I learned recently that being in love, then falling out of it, then falling again for someone new is okay. I worried so much that it would make me a bad person, that true real love was for one person and one person alone. But it's not. It's alright to fall in love. I shouldn't have to feel guilty and I don't. I'm 100% in love and I'm not sorry.

So there.


ClanRodgersAZ said...

What are you talking about? Would you please call me and talk to me? I have some thing to tell you in addition to what I need to hear from you, I love you too! Nana

rymiembeal said...

Don't listen to her. If you want to know what's really in a guys head call me.