Another Stressed Blog.

Ever since the Seattle trip, I've been struggling to bounce back money-wise. It's been damn near impossible because the trip, tuition, car and insurance payments keep piling up on me and I can only get one paycheck at a time. Mom said she wants me to close one of my bank accounts so that I "can keep all my money in one place" because she "doesn't want to get notices saying I overdrew. Again." I was offended. I asked her to please, please not view me as irresponsible. I don't know what she thinks I am.

I asked that because I know I'm not irresponsible. I realize I do a very good job at proving otherwise, but it's just with money I know I don't have any. I know I have limits. Every overdraw is an accident. The bank doesn't keep up and update my online account as quicly as they should, and things often get charged later than the transaction date. Things keep happening to me and my account, it's not (completely) my fault.

I'm trying so hard not to ask for help. I want to handle all of this on my own. But things just want to work against me. Zack helped me out yesterday, and I was so grateful. I was just about to get back up on my feet, but then my insurance automatically withdrew the amount it does every month. And I was back down to -140. Now that money he gave me puts me back up to $0.00. Right where I started.

I just don't think I can win with this capitalism thing. Or is it this "non-frugal" spending problem of mine? Either way, I refuse to ask for anymore help. That's...going to be a learning experience.